Small Steps — Big Results — Happy Lives
If you are like me, you want to change some parts of your life. You know what you want. You know what you have to change. You may even know how to achieve it. What you don’t know is how to get over the big mountain between you and where you want to be.
If you feel this way, you are not alone. You are not the only person who struggles to achieve their big goals. Most often, it is not because they can’t but because they feel overwhelmed, and sometimes, get lost in the process and the required effort.
So, what stops us from achieving our goals? Why do even highly motivated people struggle to achieve them?
Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible. ~Tony Robbins
Motivation Is Not Enough
During the first Covid lockdown, I made a bucket list of 50 things to do before I go. When I put together the list, I was motivated and convinced I would complete the list easily. Not because I was in a hurry to go, but because the list was so exciting to even look at. Everything on the list was something I wanted to do. 😁
I ticked a few things off the list and then started slowing down. As the economy began reopening, my days became busier. I started feeling overwhelmed. The items on the list looked extensive and time-consuming.
I ticked off one or two more and then stopped. I used to look at the list, thinking I would never complete it before I went.
Why did I stop when I was very motivated to see it through? Why did I get discouraged?
Q: How Do You Eat An Elephant?
A: One bite at a time!
Disclaimer: Usually, my answer to “How do you eat an elephant?” is “I don’t. I am a vegetarian.” I thought about changing the metaphor to something more palatable, but the elephant metaphor leaves a memorable image that stays with you for a long time. It wouldn’t have had the same effect if I had asked, “How do you eat a tub of ice cream?” So, I used it. 😉
The main task of our brains is to keep us safe. When we have a big task, our brains get alert and switch to survival mode. To preserve our bodies and energy, the brain sends us a message to tell us it is not good (read “safe”) for us. Any change in the existing working circumstances is seen as a potential danger.
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Fun Fact: The prefrontal cortex, or the rational part of our brain, sees the benefit of making the change. But the amygdala, or the threat-detector, sees it as a potential danger. The negative part of our brain is much stronger compared to the positive part. We focus on and remember the negative events better than the positive ones. After all, the negative things in our lives are the ones that bring potential danger, or so it seems.
To make a significant change, we have to make the information acceptable to our brains. We have to present it as a no-big-deal thing. Basically, to make a lasting change, we have to trick our brains.
If the brain sees a big mountain, it looks at it as something hard to climb that will take our energy and potentially exhaust the body. But if the brain sees a 50m (55 yards) stretch of pathway, it sees it as doable.
The same applies to making significant changes in our lives. I used the same approach with my bucket list. I started taking one item from the list and breaking it into smaller steps. The list is still as long, and the things I want to do and achieve before going are still the same, but I (aka, my brain) no longer see them as too complex and time-consuming. I focus on the next step ahead. When I complete the step, I move forward to the next.
The bucket list is a journey. It helps me learn more about myself by facing challenges and things I wouldn’t try otherwise. I am nowhere near completing the list, but I am moving forward, and that is enough for me.
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Fun Fact: #47 on the list is “Learn to operate an excavator,” which I can proudly confirm is a ticked-off item. Why did I want to do this? Keep reading my blog, and you may find out in another story.
Planning The Tasks
You may think, “That’s all very well, but how do I break a big task into smaller steps? How small, how many? Where do you start? How do you know it can be done on time, taking small steps, etc.?”
Every task is different, with different specifics and requirements. For example, doing a Ph.D. program will require a different approach to learning than driving a car. They both need learning, but the timeframe, the skills, and the personal input differ.
However, the initial approach is the same. There are a few essential pieces of information that will build the frame.
We have to know, (1) the desired outcome, and (2), the timeframe required to reach our goal (start and finish dates).
Consider getting help from others. This may involve asking for help from another person or locating resources you can use (online courses, YouTube, etc.). Check what (3) resources you have and what else you need to complete the tasks.
Once you know what you want and when you want to achieve it, you can start (4), by breaking down the goal into smaller steps.
A goal can be described as being made up of a collection of tasks. It is not one big piece but rather many small tasks that lead to the desired outcome.
To break down the goal into smaller steps, we have to determine what tasks are ahead of us and how much time we have to achieve them.
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If we want to work on our goal daily and we have 30 minutes of available time, we have to break down the goal into 30-minute tasks. If we have 1 hour, we break it down into bigger, 1-hour pieces, and so on.
We also have to (5), prioritize the tasks. You can prioritize by urgency (you may find it helpful using the Eisenhower matrix) or in chronological order.
When we have this information, we can start planning (6), the segments, and the sequence in which we have to work. Set deadlines for each of the small tasks.
It is helpful to check what tasks are easier to achieve and which take more time or require additional resources.
Make stops, (7), to reevaluate your progress and make any necessary changes and adjustments to achieve your goal.
Once you have achieved your goal, (8), take a few more steps. These extra few steps will help you make the process easier next time.
Don’t forget (9) to celebrate your successes. A celebrated success sets the tone for the next one.
Once you achieve the goal, take a few moments to (10), reflect on your experience and the work you have done. Think about (11), the process, and what you learned from it. Reflect on what was easy and what was hard, what worked, and what didn’t. Think about what you can do differently next time.
Every experience is a potential lesson for the next time. We get to decide whether to learn from it or bind ourselves to repeat the mistakes we made.
Below is a summary of the steps. I hope you find them helpful.
Summary of the steps:
- Decide on the goal
- Set a timeline with start and end dates
- Decide on the resources and support available
- Break down the goal into smaller steps
- Prioritize the tasks by urgency or in chronological order
- Set the sequence of the tasks on the timeline
- Do regular reevaluations and adjustments to the plan
- Complete the tasks within the set deadlines
- Achieve your goal. Celebrate your achievement!
- Reflect on your achievement and personal growth
- Reflect on your learnings from the process—what worked, what didn’t, what can be done differently next time
Summary
The above list may look overwhelming. You are most likely already using some of the steps. I am sure most of you already have a system at hand that you use to work on your goals.
Feel free to use the above list to help you calibrate and tune up your existing system. Everybody has a different style and approach to how we do life. What works for one person is not necessarily what works for another.
I would love to hear about your work on your goals and projects. Please get in touch with me and share your experience.
If you procrastinate and struggle with working on your goals, please contact me. Procrastination is not laziness! It is an active decision to avoid doing something. Avoidance is usually caused by internal processes based on past experiences or fears. Get in touch with me. You don’t have to struggle when you can figure it out and deal with it.
Schedule a discovery session to learn how you can change your story. Take a small first step and see where it may take you.
