Authenticity – How To Build Your Success

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”
– Brene Brown

The world celebrates individuality and uniqueness. Modern-day media platforms seem to constantly promote authenticity, bombarding us with advertisements and infomercials convincing us to make a meaningful shift in our lives. At the same time, however, conformity seems mandatory, especially when it comes to achieving success in the workplace. Most of us grew up with certain dreams or aspirations – becoming a policeman, or an astronaut, or maybe a fashion designer. But, as we grew up, our dreams slowly faded into mere fantasies and we were left trying to conform to what the world told us was right. Many of us have worked hard to change who we are, to suppress our individuality and uniqueness, all in the pursuit of happiness and success.

Are we really happy though? Are we truly successful? Successful in what exactly? The changes we make in order to fit into the social norm often leave us uncomfortable. We may feel detached and out of sync within our everyday lives. 

Have you ever felt that you were not supposed to live the life you do? The feeling of being trapped? That there existed a discrepancy between your present reality and the way you had envisioned life would be? 

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I remember years back, a conversation I had with friends. We were all in our early 20s, just starting our careers. We discussed our aspirations, our dreams for the future – where we would work, what we would do, where we would live. One of my friends was extremely ambitious and determined. Anything he put his mind to, he worked endlessly hard to achieve. Put simply, his dream for the future was to do what he loved. He wanted to change the corporate way of doing business and ultimately work on Wall Street in order to gain wealth and success. 

Over the years, we lost touch. 15+ years later, however, we connected again. He had in fact worked on Wall Street and he had accumulated a lot of wealth during his time there. As we talked about his career, I asked him whether he felt he had achieved his dream. And to my question, he replied,  “What dream? We are not children anymore. It’s all business and money now.”

Somewhere along the way, my friend gave up on his dream and individuality. Instead of holding true to himself, he, like so many of us, he allowed the well-oiled machine of societal expectations to mold him into another person. He proceeded down the well-trodden path, as opposed to forging his own.

It has been more than ten years since we had that conversation, yet his comment left a permanent mark on me. Seeing the way he had chosen to live his life, pushed me to explore my authenticity, how much of what I do is me, and how much I am expected to be. 

“There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a person being themselves. Imagine going through your day being unapologetically you.”
– Steve Maraboli

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So far, I have learned that maintaining authenticity is not an easy path. But, I have also learned that whenever I am myself and follow through on what I believe in, I feel more motivated and purposeful. Whenever I give into others’ expectations and compromise on my beliefs, I feel that something important is missing. 

Remaining authentic is not the easy road to success. In doing so, you will likely have to go against the flow, against the norm.  For some, staying authentic is more difficult than for others. It depends on various circumstances, including our environment, mental strength, and independence (cultural, emotional, financial, etc.). In any situation, however, one can always find a way to maintain our authenticity. Even if not in full, maintaining as much of your individuality as you can is vital.  

Before we continue, I want to clarify one thing. I am not saying that you should do only what you want to do with no consideration for the world around us. Rather, I am saying that you should remain true to your core, to your true motives and beliefs. Only then can you make decisions that are in unison with who you are. It is not easy and requires more work, but the reward after time is worth it. 

Become Authentic

We can start working on being authentic at any given time – it doesn’t matter what point in our life journey we are at. Just like any changes we make in our routine, attitude, or life as a whole, instead of spending time worrying that you didn’t start earlier, start today. Making a shift in your commitment to yourself is exactly the same. And by making this shift, you will encounter countless positive effects on your life. Here’s a list of what staying authentic can bring to your life and the actions you can take to become more authentic.

You can do what you love. Choose to pursue what you are passionate about. Many people start a business or go to a particular school for the wrong reasons. Later on, they experience a lack of motivation, stress, and burnout. When you do what you love, you are prepared to work harder and be more focused. You are dedicated to the success of your undertaking.

You will attract like-minded people. When you stay true to yourself, you will attract people with the same mentality. It is essential that you surround yourself with people who have similar goals and aspirations. These people will understand your values and motivations and support you in your journey to achieving your goals.

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You will know what your values are. In order to stay authentic, you have to have a clear understanding of your values, beliefs, and motivators. Only then can you remain true to your core. 

Here’s an exercise to discover what your values are. List the five people that you admire most in life. Under each name, please make a list of what you like about them. Note the things that overlap. These are your values. The listed values are what you value most in yourself as we are often attracted to people who mirror our views. 

Make another list of the five people you dislike the most. Do the same for each person. The things that overlap are the negative values that set you off.

Now that you know your own unique ideology, you can make decisions on what you look for in life, relationships, and work.

You are honest. Authentic people are more natural. Speak from your heart. The focus should be on being genuine and clear about your beliefs and views, not pleasing and mirroring others. Another advantage of being honest is happiness.

Genuine people are generally happier and more satisfied with life. A study found that people who scored higher on a measure of authentic living reported greater happiness.

Authenticity promotes consistency. When you act according to your beliefs and views, you are consistent in your actions and decisions. Consistency builds trust and respect in others. They know what to expect from you.

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”
– Mark Twain

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Authenticity Is For The Strong

Being and staying authentic is not easy. At times it might even feel unsafe or insecure. But this is true for any road leading to your success. Only the people with clear inner vision and determination truly succeed.

If you go through life trying to please the people you work for, you will end up being pulled in random directions. Sure, you may benefit from mirroring your boss, but how long until they move and you have to become someone new? 

What I am trying to say is that you cannot be like everyone you depend on. You cannot please everyone.

I work with an organization that changes its CEOs every few years. With every CEO, the direction and the focus of the company shift. If you work in a similar environment, can you keep up with the changes? How long before you experience burnout and dissatisfaction with where you are in the current reality?

I want to end with a bit of food for thought. Nowadays, having a niche is very important. If you keep adapting to other people’s requirements and interests, you will become a well-rounded person with knowledge on many topics, but no specific skills. Use your authenticity to build your legacy. Follow your beliefs and aspirations to achieve your own goals. 

Being authentic helps us be more purposeful, and more successful, and supports better mental health and increased motivation. 

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
– C.G. Jung

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If you would like to talk to someone who can support you on a life journey, please contact me. I am offering a free 1-hour discovery session for new clients with no strings attached. Let’s work together to get you on the road to becoming the best version of yourself.

I am here for you!

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