More Confident You in 5 Easy Steps
Self-confident people are generally happier and more satisfied with their lives. They achieve more. They feel more comfortable with their surroundings. So, what is self-confidence? Why some people have it and some donโt? Can we acquire it?
Self-confidence can help you navigate more successfully in your personal and professional life. Arguably, it is the most important quality that contributes to positive results.
You can have high education, unlimited resources, good looks, etc. but if you lack confidence your chances of success will be much lower.
Research shows that people with fewer opportunities but higher self-confidence achieve more than those with more opportunities but lower self-confidence. If you donโt believe in your abilities nobody else will. The way you present yourself is the way others will see you.
Positive Effects Of Self-Confidence
- Better performance in personal and professional life
- Improved ability to work in challenging situations
- Improved mental health
- Better relationships
My Journey To Becoming More Confident
The story I am about to share is one of a few experiences in my life that had a profound effect on me. It was an ordinary situation that turned into a life lesson.
In my early 20s, I went through a period of time where I didn’t feel confident speaking in English. I was newly married and I just moved to England with my husband.
I enrolled to study the language at the local college. After a year I still couldnโt speak it fluently. I felt I was inconveniencing those around me when trying to communicate. It was all in my head because most people around me were very positive and supportive. It didnโt matter what the reality was, it was about how I felt.
I Felt Inadequate
Regardless of how much I advanced in my studies I never spoke in English when my husband was around. He always translated for me.
One evening my husband, a friend, named Martin, and I went to the local pub. As usual, my husband took the translator job. At some point, he went to the restroom and I found myself alone with Martin. He started talking to me and the conversation went on.
My husband came back with a surprised look on his face. He said he had watched us for a while and was astounded at how much English I knew and how much I could understand and talk. He then asked why I needed him to translate when I could do the talking myself.
My answer followed โI make mistakes and I donโt speak English as well as you doโ.
He replied โI have been studying and working in English for 15 years. You have been studying it for 1. If you can speak English as well I do after 1 year, what does it say about me? It doesnโt matter how well others speak the language. It matters what you do.โ
His Answer Made Me Realize 2 Things
1. Everybody has their own struggles and achievements in their own time
2. Comparing yourself to others is harmful
After this conversation, I started speaking more. At first, it was difficult. I started holding small conversations. Over time it became easier and it started feeling more natural. 20+ years later I think, speak and even dream in English (though I still make mistakes).
I have confidence about my life that comes from standing tall on my own two feet.
~ Jane Fonda
Self-confidence is not something weโve been born with. It is something we learn. We usually learn it from our family and friends when we are little. If we didnโt learn it then we can do it at any point in our adulthood. All it takes is a realization that we need to work on this skill and a bit of work.
5 Simple And Very Effective Steps To Help You Become More Confident
1. Spend a little bit of time evaluating where you lack confidence. It can be in any area of life. Think about situations in which you feel uncomfortable. Imagine yourself in a similar situation where you would feel comfortable. How does it look like? How is it different from the first one? See the difference and note what you need to change in your behavior to become this confident.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others. This is one of the most harmful things a person can do to their self-confidence. Comparison kills the joy that personal achievements bring. It makes us feel envious of others’ achievements. You have your plans and your experiences. Focus on them.
The only person you should compare yourself to is who you were yesterday and who you will be tomorrow.
– Amy Morin
3. Surround yourself with people who are positive and self-confident. They will influence your thinking. You become what you feed your mind. If you keep telling yourself that you are not good at something, this is what you will become. Instead, think about how you want to change and what you want to achieve. Look forward to the new possibilities. Donโt contemplate on the past.
4. Take care of your body and mind. If you are positive towards yourself, the results of your work will have a positive outcome as well. Try to have a more positive and optimistic approach to what you do. Instead of telling yourself โI canโt do thisโ, tell yourself โI havenโt done it before, but I can tryโ. Mindset is key!
5. Donโt try doing everything at once. This is not a race, you are creating new habits and this takes time. Learning new habits is not easy. Sometimes it even looks impossible. If you break the big tasks into smaller pieces you can achieve bigger goals. Focus on one task at a time. Donโt worry about the rest.
When it gets hard, keep your eyes on the goal. Remember, you are doing it for yourself, so YOU can be more confident, happier, and more satisfied with YOUR life.
Self-confidence is a superpower. Once you start to believe in yourself, magic starts happening.
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Have you struggled with low self-confidence? What did you do? What did stop you from being more confident? Did you work on your confidence skills? Please share your experiences below, so others can also learn from them. If youโd like you can contact me directly.
I offer aย free 1-hour discovery session for new clients. I would love to talk to you and help you get on the road to becoming the best version of you.
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I am here for you!
